Detoxing from Amazon and Target (and the stores we're using to replace them)

If you're like us with busy jobs and little ones at home, letting go of Amazon Prime and Target probably feels like a huge blow! We had backed off quite a bit from Amazon in recent years but still relied pretty heavily on Target to fill in gaps when we couldn't find items at secondhand stores or small local businesses, and occasionally used Amazon prime in a pinch around the holidays. The recent attacks on diversity and inclusion policies at private companies was the push we needed personally to take our business elsewhere. I figured if it doesn't work, we can always pivot back to shopping at these places if we really need to. The good news? It seems like a lot of these bans and boycotts are working, at least if you take articles like this as a sign of success. 

At first, I was pretty overwhelmed- we get all kinds of things from Target, Amazon and some of the other big offenders listed. Over the last few days I've compiled a list of alternative options that are better choices for most of the things we usually get at the above stores. Over time and with practice, we've felt the impact of cutting out these big companies less and less. 

Buy Nothing and Local groups. We have routinely used our Buy Nothing Groups to both give and receive needed items, and this is often the first place we look if we're in need of something. Many local mutual aid groups also give or donate items to families in need. Have a look at what organizations are active in your area. 

Ebay, Goodwill, and other secondhand stores and sites. When it comes to clothes, this is generally the first place I look for myself and the kids. Kids grow so fast, and often you can find close to new options from great quality brands. Learning the Ebay search engine and knowing your size ranges and specific needs can really help narrow your search and prevent unnecessary spending. 

Small and local businesses. This has been a life saver for home improvement and gardening supplies. We have a local hardware store and plant nursery that has probably replaced 90% of our previous Home Depot shopping list. We are also longtime users of our local container free store. 

Costco. We have only had our Costco membership for a year, but it's been a great option for school snacks, certain fruits and veg, milk, and certain dried goods. I imagine we'll get even more use out of their dried goods, clothes and electronics sections moving forward. 

Wayfair and the Container Free Store. We really did not patronize these stores much at all, even when moving into our home, but moving forward when we can't find what we want or need for the house secondhand, these will be two of the first places we look. They both have continued their DEI initiatives and have a history of donating to blue campaigns.

Nordstrom. Some clothes such as basics and swimwear obviously need to be purchased new. Nordstrom has historically supported democratic causes and continues their diversity and inclusion initiatives. When we've tried secondhand stores and struck out, this is usually where we shop. Patagonia is another great alternative. 

Bookshop.org. I love supporting Bookshop.org as they allow you to choose a local indie Bookstore (Our favorite down here is Rohi's Readery!) to "patronize" online. We love getting books as gifts for friends and classmates, and Bookshop.org has been a great way to do that and avoid supporting Amazon. 

Lastly, I wanted to plug Goods Unite Us- an app that helps you understand where different companies sit on various issues. If you have questions about where your dollar is going when you spend at different stores, Goods Unite Us is a great way to be an informed consumer. 

A final thought: If the idea of boycotts and blackouts is overwhelming or out of reach right now, that's okay. Some families may find it's financially not possible to avoid certain stores, or may only have a single option in their area. I am not a big fan of gatekeeping. People should show up however they're able, and we should all meet each other where we're at. Division only serves the other side.

Thoughts? Are you participating in the next boycott? Where have you moved your shopping to? I'd love add more conscious companies to our list. 

The True Spirit of Buy Nothing Groups

The other day (okay, this was actually months ago!) I was reading an article on Apartment Therapy on Buy Nothing Groups. In it, the author shares tips and secrets to 'scoring' the cutest and best home decor on these sites. The article wasn't terrible in its entirety, but the focus and common thread throughout was: "use buy nothing groups because you can get a lot of stuff for your house for free."

I find this take interesting, and I guess unsurprising- Apartment Therapy is a home and style website, which translates to lots of marketing and a push for more stuff- stuff to fill your space, to leave your signature on, to make it pretty. I get that. I too, want the perfectly curated space, the instagrammable, light-filled, themed-but-still-beige-y-enough-to-appeal-to-the-masses vibes that seem to be both on trend and weirdly soothing. 

The thing is, that is really only half of the story behind Buy Nothing Groups. Having participated in two such groups in the last 2 years doesn't by any means makes me an expert, but it doesn't take a philosophical deep dive to understand the purpose of these groups. The origins of the Buy Nothing Project may surprise you. 

The story goes, two parents in the Pacific Northwest became concerned about the plastics they were finding washed up on the shore of their coastal town. This deep concern about waste and its impact on their local ecosystems and environments led them to brainstorm ways to become less reliant on purchasing 'stuff' altogether. 

While you can read more about the origins and current philosophies about Buy Nothing Groups here, the spirit of the groups really isn't about getting free stuff to fill your home with. It's about avoiding the urge to buy something new, in communities where overabundance is already a huge problem. It's about finding what we need within our own communities. And I'd argue, it's about giving more than we receive. 

I'll be the first to admit that as a new parent and now a new homeowner, I have more often than not been on the receiving end in our community. Both in and out of the Buy Nothing Groups, I've benefited from the generosity of others- Our biggest piece of decor (the one in the top photo) was a curb drop off by a neighbor down the street. But the receiving feels a lot more powerful when it's coupled with giving- for us, that's the old baby clothes we no longer need, or the gate that doesn't quite work in our current space. 

The true spirit of the Buy Nothing Group is found in the handful of respondents eager to collect our spare Black Lives Matter sign, or the fellow mom talking about her little one's favorite dress as she passes on the pieces her toddler outgrew. Or the woman collecting all our moving boxes and bubble paper, some collected from our Boston Buy Nothing group, before her own cross-country trip. 

I suppose we could always resell some things too (and sometimes, we do!) But in my humble opinion, if you're active in a Buy Nothing Group, you're really in the business of giving.

I'm curious, what's the nicest or most interesting thing you've given or received through a Buy Nothing or similar group? I'm super thankful for the artwork our neighbor gifted us, but my new (old) writing desk is a close second!

Our Home: Before tour and Our Sustainability Plans

@gceldridge Our house tour!! this house was a lot of things when we first saw it (after closing 😱) but growing up in a home just like this one, I'm confident we can put our stamp on it and make it the perfect space for our family. it was built in the 60s-70s and pretty much has not been touched since then so it needs a ton of work! head over to my blog for full details on that merakikaiagapi.blogspot.com #homedecor #homereno #renovationproject #housetok ♬ Our House - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Hi! Wanted to share some before pics (and a video) of our home, and also talk about our goals for making our home sustainable, weather-proof and low waste wherever possible. In many ways these goals are intertwined, as things like hurricane-proof windows and doors are also better at sealing in heat or cool. 

This is it! A pretty typical style for our neighborhood. My favorite part about the location- it's right across the street from where I grew up.

A major goal of our renovation was to do things as low-waste as possible, but also within our budget. I had a lot of ideas about this, some of which we had to put off or abandon all together, but I think we’ve reached a point where we are getting the best renovation we can within our price range, and have a plan for future renovations that we’ll work towards doing every 1-2 years. 

Our living and dining space had some pretty interesting color choices.

One of the four bedrooms- the house is pretty small by square footage but has lots of great usable space.

The kitchen hasn't been updated since the home was first built.

A look back from the entryway into the 'family' room, with the kitchen to the right.

Our kitchen with this awkward low ceiling that was apparently popular at one point- it's all demolished as of today!

The bathroom is very pink! We debated keeping the color, but ultimately decided to go with a clean white look.

It’s hard to see from the photos, but while our home doesn’t have the most practical layout (looking at you, entryway pantry-closet!), it does have really good bones! So as much as I’d love to change things up with a full remodel, we’re really just updating existing structures for the most part. This also feels less wasteful to me since we won’t need to destroy and rebuild things that are working pretty well as is (again, just a guess.) Once we finish with this round, we also plan to keep things more or less the same with a few exceptions. Here’s a few ways we plan to make this renovation sustainable:

Sourcing materials secondhand or recycled when possible: For items like fans, ceiling lights, and bathroom vanities, this makes a ton of sense! Unfortunately we don’t live locally yet, so it was difficult to hunt things down leading up to our renovation on places like FB Marketplace and local secondhand stores. I have my heart set on furnishing the space slowly after we move in, so hopefully we’ll have better luck in this area when we buy our furniture, since we plan to gift and sell the few pieces we have in Massachusetts.

We had some big dreams to use recycled products when possible (I had my heart set on recycled glass countertops or this super intriguing material made of recycled paper- more on that here!), sadly it just was not in the budget as it would have cost us at least 25% more than traditional countertop choices such as quartz. We are saving for another big chapter of the renovation next year that we think will be a huge step toward a low waste lifestyle (see below!)

Weather-proofing the house. This actually started before we purchased the home. We had been looking for a few months at the time and already knew we didn’t want to buy in a high-risk flood zone, given Florida’s risk of rising water levels (more on that here.) We ultimately got lucky enough to find a home in a low- medium risk flood zone away from any canals or large bodies of water. 

Apart from this, we chose to install a tile floor rather than wood. Wood is a great look, don’t get me wrong- but tile will sustain water damage much better in the event of a flood. There are other options too, as you can see on this website, but we were happy to go with tile as it has the added benefit of helping to keep the house cool.

Decrease energy and water usage: I lumped all of this in one category because while the approach is different it’s ultimately the same end goal: reducing reliance on the grid. Florida Power and Light is notoriously difficult to deal with and has no plans for divesting in fossil fuel energy, which is pretty wild to me considering we live in the sunshine state. So our next big ticket item is going to be a new roof and solar panels! The newest Federal Laws around climate change have extended the 30% rebate on solar panels for several more years (yay!), making this change a bit more affordable. You can find more info on solar panels in Florida here.

We also plan to swap out older appliances for high efficiency-grade ones. The biggest saver here will typically be the fridge, but toilets, washer-dryers and dishwashers can also make a difference. There are also smart sprinkler systems that help avoid unnecessary watering (more on that later, and a link with some info on energy efficient appliances here.) 

The garden- we're very excited to start planting here!

The house has a pool that was just about the only thing that had been updated in recent years. 

Eco-friendly gardening. This might be the part of our new home that I’m most excited for- the garden! We live in a sub-tropical climate where planting can go on year-round. I don’t want to be too ambitious because I haven’t had much luck with gardening in the past, but lucky for me Peter has a pretty green thumb! In addition, we’re hoping to eventually adjust our landscaping to add more native plants and flowers that will benefit the local flora and fauna and attract some native pollinators, add in a smart sprinkler system like this one, and start composting! UF has an amazing website and app about native pollinators and sustainable landscaping- here is their about page for more info.

Projects for further down the line: While I’d love to have more room in the budget to accomplish all of our goals, like most folks, we’re going to wait a couple years on a few things, including our primary bathroom, adding insulation, and adding hurricane-safe windows and doors. We’re not entirely sure how long we’ll be in Florida, but it was important to us to reduce our carbon footprint since we are privileged enough to live in an area with so much potential for sustainable living. Do you have any questions? Better yet, any advice- drop them in the comments! Would love to hear from you if you’ve had experience with eco-friendly and low-waste renovation :)

Low Waste Mama: Cloth Diapering

We have been at this cloth diapering thing for over a year now, so obviously I have some THOUGHTS. Too many thoughts for one blog post. I tend to be horribly long-winded when I write, so I’ll probably break this down in a couple of posts. This one will just go into how we decided to go for it, what we took into consideration, and how we came to the final decision that it made sense for us as a family, because we were definitely on the fence initially. I also want to acknowledge that although there are some workarounds, I also recognize that choosing cloth diapering is a privilege made easier for us by living in a very sustainability-minded community, our income, our work schedules, and a number of other factors. I hope none of this comes across as ‘cloth diapering is easy! And everyone should do it!’ Because cloth diapering is great, and I want it to be a reasonable option for everyone, but it may not be for you or your family, for a number of reasons, and that’s ok. Ultimately I hope it becomes something that is accessible to all families who want to give it a go. 

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s dive in!

Like a lot of parents, Peter and I must have spent hours researching the ‘best’ of all the things for those first months of life: the best stroller, best way to sleep train, best parenting books…and yep, the best diapers. We didn’t personally know anyone who cloth-diapered and had heard conflicting info on whether it was the most eco-friendly way to go; some argue against it because of the cost, or because of the amount of energy used washing and drying, when you could buy compostable diapers instead. We ultimately decide to try cloth diapering (CD) for a number of reasons: 

Composting diapers is…complicated. Many sources offer compostable diapering as a reasonable eco-friendly alternative to CD. The reality is much more complicated. For us, it was very difficult to compost- pick up compost organizations will not accept human waste, and our sibling/roomies ultimately veto’ed a backyard compost for our home, so that was out. Which meant that in our situation, any fancy, expensive compostable diapers would just really just be expensive, single use diapers going straight into a landfill. That didn’t feel great to us. 

We found ways to mitigate cost. Depending on how you calculate things, yes, cloth diapering can be very expensive. Just like any capitalist venture, people will try to sell you the newest, the best, the most advanced/easy/convenient system, etc. If that brand new, high tech system is what you go for, then, yes- cloth diapering is going to get expensive. 

But- there is another way. We ultimately bought one new set of newborn diapers, large and small wet bags, and a couple of other items along the way, and purchased everything else secondhand. Larger sizes of diapers included. This may not be appealing to some, I get it. But having done this several times, I feel pretty comfortable diapering our kiddo in secondhand diapers. They were always perfectly clean when purchased, and we washed them before using them with E. As far as I can tell, she has never had an infection related to diapering. I never felt that we were compromising on hygiene. (Actually, I feel like her skin hygiene is better in cloth than in disposable diapers- more on that later.) 

We found ways to maximize usage and decrease waste. A super common argument against cloth diapering is that it’s not as energy-saving as folks tout it to be, and that can be true. Think of it this way: what if we bought 24 brand new cloth diapers and inserts, used them for 6 months, then ditched them for disposable…we really aren’t maximizing that product’s use, are we? Now think about using the same diapers twice, for 2 kids, over the course of 18-24 months per kid, and then selling, gifting, or donating them to a charity like this one that refurbishes old diapers and gives them to folks in need? You’re certainly getting a lot more bang for your buck.

Similarly, people like to point out that you use a lot more energy washing them- and yes, it’s true, you’ll do a ton more laundry. There’s no way around that. But you can line dry, you can maximize your load usage, you can throw towels into the second wash (cloth diapers require a hot a cold wash)- basically, there are ways to be more efficient with your energy use. 

I also want to throw a note out there on another common and pretty strong argument against CD. It is time consuming. It basically triples your laundry. Easily. This is true- I can’t argue against it. We wash our child’s diapers about 2-3 times per week. Peter washes. I reassemble. I don’t have a great argument for this one. We both work and choose to spend a lot of our time cleaning our child’s cloth diapers. You might decide you’d rather dedicate your time to something else besides doing cloth diaper laundry 3 nights a week. No judgment. If money were no object I might have looked into sending our cloth diapers out for cleaning, which some local companies do in our area. It’s getting more common to see cloth diaper services like this all over the country, which I think is great. 

Lastly, if this sounds intimidating to you and totally not your jam, I want to add that just like anything in life, this is not an all or nothing game. We do not use cloth diapers at night. We have taken breaks from them- like when we traveled to England and South Dakota, and when we were going through a TFMR with our second child. We’ve gone as long as a month using no cloth diapers at all. There is a quote by Anne Marie Bonneau that I really like: 

We don't need a handful of people doing zero waste perfectly. We need millions of people doing it imperfectly.

I think that applies so well in the parenting space.

This isn’t a race, nor is it a competition. This is the long haul effort to consume less and reduce waste, ultimately to improve the future for our children. Which is why I’m perfectly happy to sit on the sofa at 8 at night watching netflix and shoving cloth inserts into cloth diapers multiple nights per week :) 

That’s all I’ve got for part one of our experience with cloth diapering! What else would you like to know? Leave questions in the comments, and I’ll share my answers or any other takes in the next part of this post! 

Low Waste Mama: adventures in EC

 Hi! 

One of my goals after completing my MPH was to write more, so moving forward I’m committing to writing one blog post a week. It’s probably going to focus on low waste, parenting, and sustainability topics, maybe with some home decor thrown in there. This one is about our year using EC with our daughter. Hope you enjoy! 

As we prepared for E’s arrival, both Peter and I were focused on trying to keep things low waste. We are in no way perfect, but are really trying to reduce use of single use items when possible, etc. Quite quickly we saw how bringing a new baby into the world would change that, and we started looking into ways to limit our footprint. One topic we stumbled onto was elimination communication, or EC. I honestly can’t remember where I first heard about it; probably somewhere between googling ‘how to limit diaper use’ and parenting practices I had encountered working outside of the U.S. We decided to give it a try.

You might be asking yourself what EC is at this point. It’s essentially what it sounds like: learning your infant’s bodily cues and using them to help your child pee and poop on a toilet. Here is a VERY watered down summary of what we did: 

In the early weeks of our daughter’s life we observed her, both with and without her diaper. We noted times she tended to poop and pee (nursing seemed to do the trick for her!), and what kind of behaviors she had while pooping. For most babies this is some version of grimacing, reddening in the face, or squirming. For pees, which are a little less obvious, we also watched her while diaper free on a pee pad. 

Once we figured out her cues, we tried to do EC when we were home with her. This evolved quite a bit during E’s first 12 months of life. During the first twelve weeks, before I returned to work, I’d catch her straining to poop and sit with her between my legs facing backwards on the toilet or potty (see below.) I actually got pretty good at catching her poop when it didn’t occur while breastfeeding. Peter ordered the tiny EC potty that some breastfeeding parents use to do EC while ACTIVELY nursing, but dear reader, I was never going to be that parent. My coordination is just not that great (if you’ve seen me play any video game ever, you know this to be true.) 

At this point E was a bit heavy for me, so we switched to sitting her on the potty, but the position is essentially the same!

We also went through a phase of giving her opportunities to pee every 3ish hours. I chose convenient times for us, like right after waking her from a nap, diaper changes, etc. This worked marginally well, but we found it to be pretty time consuming, and once I started working at the hospital again, we just didn’t have the time to do it consistently. 

EC blogs will also tell you to make a noise (like tsss tsss for pee and a hard K sound for poo,) that your child can start to associate with voiding and stooling. This didn’t work for us, but probably because we both began working when E was 12 weeks old and were not able to be consistent in our practices after that point. Overall, once I was back at work we practiced EC a lot less, but still tried to catch poos when we recognized that she was trying to go. We even got into a good rhythm where around 9-12 months,  when she could sit independently, we’d sit her on the potty, make our little tss tss sound, and let her pee before bathtime. I think she actually enjoyed this routine too, and it certainly saved her a few diaper rashes from all that diaper free time.

Around 12 months, we had gotten into a rhythm, but E was not feeling it any more. We’d place her on the potty and she’d immediately stand and try to walk or crawl away. We decided it was time for us to call it- I had gotten busier with my class and work schedule, and Peter was working harder than ever- we just didn’t have the space for EC anymore, and didn’t want to push our child when she was clearly resisting.

A few folks have asked me since then about our experience- was it worth it? Is it doable while working? Does it help with toilet training? Would we recommend it to other parents? 

I can’t speak for my partner, but here’s my own perspective of our year of EC: 

It’s a great and unique way to learn about and bond with your child.

It’s not hard to learn, but is physically and logistically challenging. We struggled to find time to EC with E as two working parents, but I imagine that even with a parent home, it would be time consuming to watch your kid closely, stop what you’re doing and rush to catch a pee or poop. 

It maybe cut our diaper usage down by 5%. 

We just started working with E on toilet training this month, and from what I can tell (from our n of 1), it has had zero effect on potty training our child, either positive or negative. And from my brief literature search, there is no solid evidence that EC contributes to early toilet training.

And that’s our EC journey with E! Do you have any questions, or your own experience? I’d love to hear in the comments.

Here is a video we found super useful when first looking into EC.

And here is a great article about two pediatricians who did a combo of cloth and diaper free!