Um, hi, hello! I always tell myself I will never take a month off from writing...and then life hits. And to be honest, I don't think I've ever had a bigger distraction than the one we've got right now...
In November I became a mom, maybe a couple days after that last post (and a few days early, to my shock and disbelief!) It has been a wild ride but suffice it to say we are so incredibly happy to have little E in our lives.
I'm not up for sharing the birth story just yet (may never be, to be honest) but I did want to pop on here and share how our travels went and what we learned. We traveled a lot before E came into our lives, and since her birth we've lived in 3 different places(!) Some days I felt really awesome managing to continue working in global health and travel with a baby in tow. And some (many) days I felt like I was drowning and life was irrevocably changed and I was failing at both my career and being a good mother. I think both are true to an extent (that's a story for another day.) So without further ado, here's some general advice and things we found that made traveling with a baby easier.
Have a loose routine. Like it or not, your life will change when a baby arrives. When E first came (aka before reality hit,) I was very motivated to keep life as unchanged as possible. I tried to get her to sleep anywhere, with normal daily life buzzing in the background, in hopes that she'd learn to sleep on the go. HA. ha. Did you know that babies are actual humans? (note the sarcasm here.) And sure, some humans can literally sleep anywhere...Others need pitch black, total silence, Abby the bear and a lavender diffuser in the room to sleep well. Once we were exhausted into submission, we found a happy medium that worked for us by tracking and identifying our kiddo's wake windows/sleepy times and establishing a flexible schedule and sleep routine that worked for us. We loved the Huckleberry app for this (side note: none of these shares are sponsored.)
Obviously we didn't want something too complicated so it would be easy to implement in a bunch of different places (in the last month alone we have put her down for naps/bedtime in 2 houses and 3 different hotel rooms plus the occasional car or lap on the airplane.) So I'd argue for something really simple/loose- for us it's change diaper, sleep sack, books, bed with the sound machine on/lights out for naps (we just add a bath for bedtime, which can be skipped in a pinch) and naps around 9 am, 1 pm and 5 pm +/- 30 minutes. It really did work wonders for us. E is a different kid when she's able to sleep well, and this simple routine goes a long way in helping her get the rest she needs.
...And be willing to break it. Ok so I know I just went on and on about how amazing routines are...but hear me out. If you've got limited time somewhere (whether a few days or a few weeks,) you're not going to want to spend 5 hours of your vacation sitting in a hotel room in the dark, texting your significant other because you can't actually speak since the little one is sleeping two feet away. Peter and I agonized over this for a long time. Ultimately what worked for us was prioritizing naps in the first parts of the day, and either skipping or pushing off the later nap to do things as a family, since the third nap is hit or miss for her anyways. Sometimes we ended up with a grumpier baby. Sometimes it ended with E excitedly flailing her arms at the sighting of her first ever bison, a truly sweet and hilarious thing to see.
We really tried not to do this every day, but on weekends or special occasions we wanted E to see or do something with us as a family, we made it work. It ended up giving us some sweet family moments that we would have missed out on if we were nap-trapped in our hotel room.
Have an on the go routine option. I guess this is an extension of having a routine. South Dakota is pretty rural and spread out, so we spent many 3 hour chunks of time driving with E having a meltdown because she was so tired and couldn't sleep more than 10 minutes. That was until we stumbled on the magic of mimicry- in an act of desperation I flung my nursing cover over the car seat, we blasted the AC to make some white noise and just kept driving in total silence. While I wouldn't recommend using this method routinely, it did work for us and could prove useful if you're in a bind.
Modify your expectations. When we first arrived in South Dakota one of the first websites I found had a list of '15 things to do in a day in the Black Hills.' Being a realist with a 5 month old, I cut the list down to 8 or 9 things that were realistic with an infant and sounded like fun. In the span of 4-ish days in the area we did 4-5 of them. Some of that was weather and not baby-related, but the reality is time just disappears with an infant. The days of driving for 8 or 9 hours straight are gone- instead, every 2-3ish hours we were stopping to check a diaper and feed. When we visited the site of the Wounded Knee Massacre I ended up stuck in the car nursing and didn't get to climb the hilltop to pay my respects.
The first weekend I was super disappointed that my 7-item to do list went so terribly. By the last weekend there, we'd figured out that for stuff we were trying to do (mostly scenic drives, sight-seeing and short hikes) a list of 3 felt less daunting- 2 things we would definitely get done and one that was a maybe, depending on how well the day had gone. You can probably adjust this based on driving time, how long it takes to do something, your child's age, etc. But the more laidback schedule definitely made for a more enjoyable time for all of us.
Stay close to the action. I wish we had learned this sooner! Our first weekend out exploring we booked a hotel that we knew was kid friendly but was also an hour away from the hikes and parks. With a small infant often the timeframe that they're awake and happy is pretty short- in our case at most 3 hours on a good day. Staying somewhere we could walk or quickly drive to the spots we wanted to check out made a huge difference! Less time driving = more time to do things you enjoy as a family. It's that simple :) If you do one thing differently on your travels, I'd say this should be it, even if it means paying a little more for that convenience.
Come up with your packing list. Having moved to two states in E's first 6 months, I now have a good sense of what we do and don't use for her in the span of a couple days, a couple weeks, etc. This will definitely look different for everyone, but in general we realized we should have packed more clothes and fewer toys. E went through multiple outfits a day some days thanks to spit up, drool, and blow outs, and babies are often down to play with just about anything (just make sure it's safe/not a choking hazard.) They also LOVE repetition- she ended up playing with the same 1-2 toys every car ride, and we read her 4 of the same books over the span of of that month we were gone. I would also add that it is helpful to calculate how many diapers your kid goes through in 24 hours, then figure out how many you should bring for your travel day from there and maybe multiply by 1.2- just for peace of mind :) then you can buy as many diapers as you need once you arrive. We always purchased more than we needed and ended up donating what was left over to a local organization.
As far as large items, a few things to know before you go: if you're renting a car you can also rent a car seat, and most hotels have pack and plays/cribs you can use- just ask! If you've got a mobile little one I'd also think about if there's a safe space to put the baby down, if you can make a space up by moving stuff around, or if it's worth it to try and buy an exer-saucer or playpen secondhand. I'd also add if your kiddo is taking some solids a high chair would be useful if you're going to be somewhere long term. We had some pretty comical dinners where we'd sit E on our laps in a diaper with a towel to keep things clean. A high chair would definitely have made life easier!
Stroll (or carry? or...) So this is less of a recommendation than a call for advice...do you bring your stroller or carry your little one through the airport? We've done both- it was super useful to have in Boston when we flew to Florida with all our stuff- but once we arrived at our hosuing in South Dakota we didn't touch the stroller as Peter carries E in our Lille carrier (linked, no commission.) I imagine once the family grows the stroller is kind of a must. But with one baby and a backpack diaper bag we found it much easier to navigate travel with our Sakura Bloom or the Lille. We also found the more stuff we could check or gate check to the final destination, the easier life was. And the less sore and exhausted we were by the time we made it to our lodging.
If you're a parent let me know what you find to be the best way to travel with your little one! Would love to hear more tips/advice. :)
Photo by the insanely talented Lyndsay Hannah. Definitely check her out if you are in the Boston area and in need of a family photographer.
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