Dipping our toes into low-waste parenting.

Hey friends! Hope everyone is doing ok. It’s been insanely busy around here and I’m REALLY looking forward to being done with clinical duties (after this weekend! So close!) The husband and I have meanwhile been trying to wrap up a few last minute tasks before baby’s imminent arrival- installing our car seat base, packing the last odds and ends into our hospital bag, and squeezing in quality time whenever we can. After all, we’re not going to be a twosome much longer :) 

I’ve been wanting to write about low-waste parenting throughout this pregnancy. Reducing our impact on the environment is something I’ve been interested in since learning about how my fast fashion habits were impacting the planet, and since raising kids inevitably requires that you increase your consumption, we’ve been thinking and reading about this quite a bit lately and wanted to share some of what I’ve learned. This may or may not be inspired by the zero/low-waste parenting panel (link) we attended last night :) But for real, we have been making a LOT of purchases we normally wouldn’t and also reading a ton on this topic. So it's definitely been on my mind quite a bit.

Before we dive in I wanted to raise a couple caveats to the low-waste parenting movement. I think talking about any aspect of parenting gets tricky - there can be a lot of emotions and criticism of the ‘other way’ of doing things when it comes to parenting, and I want to say off the bat - there are very few wrong ways to raise a child. I’m not a parent yet, but from my experience as a pediatrician, this is 110% true. Do what works for your family. A lot (but not all) of zero-waste lifestyle choices are time-consuming and costly. Even considering cloth diapering as an option is a privilege. For that and plenty of other reasons, I think shaming families for choosing to do things a different way is unacceptable and not what this post is about.

Secondly, a big criticism of the consumer side of low-waste/zero-waste movements is that big corporations generate a LOT more waste and play a bigger role in squandering our natural resources, so what’s the point of ditching plastic straws? My response to that is I agree that we need to hold large, powerful corporations responsible for how their actions impact all of us- we can do this through advocacy and political activism, as flawed as the process is. But I don’t think that negates the importance of individual choices, and if I have the privilege to choose a more sustainable option, I’m certainly going to try and do that.

Lastly, in total and complete transparency, I am not a perfect consumer. I’m really lucky to have the time and resources to consider some of these options as a parent. I also work nights, attend grad school part-time, and have a not-great debt-to-income ratio. While we haven’t fully decided, we are definitely going to at least start this kiddo out on disposable diapers. We also received a really generous gift card to Amazon from family, so we’re going to be making some purchases from Bezos. I guess my point is I don’t want this post to come off as holier than thou. I’ve learned a good amount the last few months and want to share in case another parent finds it helpful. So with that in mind, here’s a few of the big take-home points we’ve gathered the last few months.

Get items used or second-hand if you can. This spring I learned about the buy nothing movement and it has honestly been a life-changer. I received some unused breast pump parts and a bottle rack for free, and plenty of strollers, baby clothes, toys and gear have been posted since I joined. If you live in a larger town, I can almost guarantee there’s also a parenting listserv you can join where people will be giving items away or selling them at low costs. I also really like buying clothes second hand when I can (Poshmark is my favorite so I can search specific brands but there’s literally dozens of sites and of course in-person stores if its safe in your area.)

One caveat to this that parents should be aware of is car seats. Because the plastic decays in heat, most infant car seats aren’t safety approved beyond about 6-10 years. Believe it or not, they have an expiration date you can check on their label or manual if its still around. There’s also a risk of a car seat that’s been in a crash being unsafe, even if it looks ok. So keep this in mind when scouring second hand sites and groups.

Get on top of gift giving. It’s no secret that Americans own a lot of stuff, and yes, you can actually have too many toys. Kids tend to play better if they just have a handful to choose from. In addition to this, while the jury’s still out on the human health impacts of microplastics, they definitely aren’t great for the environment, especially marine life. One option we’re considering to curb excess and unwanted plastic toys is a gift moratorium - outside of immediate family, requesting no gifts for your kid at holidays and birthdays. Instead, you can ask for donations to a favorite nonprofit, or for people to contribute to a college fund if they’re able- or nothing! A mom on a recent panel also suggested guiding grandparents towards second-hand gift options, preferably plastic free, which I think is a great option.

Another parent at the panel we watched recently emphasized experiences over stuff, so if you’re in an area where it’s safe to do so, having an aunt take your child for a day of fun together can also be a really special gift option that doesn’t have to generate waste.

Repurpose for play. This is one we probably all grew up doing- our paper towel rolls became castle towers, cardboard shipping boxes were anything from boats to houses to planes, and we raided the garage as kids for junk to make into robots, costumes, and pretty much anything you can think of. Sure there’s plenty of sparkly, colorful, fancy kits you can buy to add to your arts and crafts box, but looking around at home first can yield a lot of great options! Side note: did anyone else grow up playing with home-made playdough? Here’s an easy recipe .

Alternatives to diapering. this is one P and I are still scratching our heads on. Wirecutter has a really great article that briefly addresses the environmental impact cloth to disposable diapers (link), and unfortunately, the term biodegradable diaper is somewhat misleading as well (see this post). Another option, elimination communication (explained in detail here), involves monitoring your child’s behavior to figure out when they void and stool and offering them the toilet when they give you these cues, but requires a lot of time and attention (also I’ve heard from a personal account it gets quite messy.) 

I’m going to be honest here- we’re not sure what we’re going to do in terms of diapering just yet. We really want to find the lowest impact option that works for us as a home with two working parents and a limited budget. I’ll keep you posted on this one (and if you have any advice or experience, I’d love to hear!) 

Consider your feeding options. Another sensitive subject that comes with a lot of emotions packed into it, so I will start by saying, in all caps letters, while pulling my pediatrician card: FED IS BEST. If your baby is developing and growing on target, great job Mom! (and Dad :)

Now that that’s out of the way, breastfeeding (whether breastfeeding or pumping and giving breastmilk) is the most low-waste option, if it works for you and your baby, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t ways that formula can’t be lower waste, too. The most wasteful option is unfortunately the most convenient- pre-mixed bottles that just need a nipple attachment, and can then be tossed or recycled once the baby has emptied the bottle. Obviously re-using bottles by mixing your own formula is a better option, and should only take a little more work. Just follow the instructions on the can...I am not 100% sure, but I believe this option is a lot cheaper, too. 

Once you hit around 5-6 months, and have been cleared by your child’s doctor to start introducing solids, a whole new fun challenge arises- pre-packaged baby food! If you do have the time to make your own veg and fruit purees at home, this is just another small area to reduce single use items in your home and life. To be clear, it IS extra work- remember that babies have immature kidneys and can’t handle the salt and seasoning that you have in your own food, so even that pureed spinach needs to be prepped separately. If you can manage to prep some baby-friendly solids at home, even a couple times a week, its a great option to reduce your use of single-use plastics. 

That’s all for now! The reality here is we are first-time parents, and are in for the ride of our lives. That’s partly why I wanted to post now, pre-baby, when I’m not sleep-deprived and can be a total optimist; I am sure this list will look totally different in reality once the baby comes, and I will try to post a follow up so we can see what worked and didn’t work for us in a few months’ time. I’ll leave you with a few resources we’ve used to gather information on low-waste parenting these last few months. Have a great week!

Babylist - this isn’t a low-waste resource per se, but using a babylist registry allowed us to register for more items from smaller businesses and fair trade/sustainable companies over Amazon, when we could find them. You can still register from bigger sites like Amazon and Target, but also include these smaller companies, or even a cash fund, so it's pretty flexible, which is nice.

ZeroWasteNYC: While their focus is NYC, we really appreciated the low-waste parenting panel they hosted. We found it through Instagram, and they were able to sponsor some free tickets as well to make the event more accessible. I also appreciate their honesty about the privilege behind whole zero/low-waste parenting and importance of advocating for policy change as well as individual lifestyle changes to tackle climate change.

Veronica Milsom/Zero Waste Baby: She was a panelist on the ZeroWaste talk we attended last night, and I really appreciated her candor on a lot of subjects, including the cloth versus disposable nappy debate. She has a low-waste parenting podcast I’ll definitely be following :)

TheGoodTrade: A site I’ve loved for a long time, mostly because they post great lists of organic and fair trade companies for all sorts of things, from baby products to thrift stores to home goods. 

Any sites or resources I’ve missed? Any personal experience or advice with living low-waste with a baby or kids? Would love to hear!

Things my grandfather taught me

Hey friends, So obviously posting consistently has been a bit hard- my apologies. I think the heavy political climate coupled with a ramped up work and school schedule kind of wore me down. Add to that a belly sleeper who can no longer sleep on her ginormous belly and you get...well not a reliable blogger, that's for sure. 

Oh, and my grandfather died a few weeks ago. So there's that. 

It's always sad when you lose someone you love. Even someone who hasn't been well for a long time. In my training I've witnessed a lot of suffering (more on that here,) and it really changed my outlook on death. There are times that a good death, a passing with peace and dignity, can be better than even a few days or weeks trudging onward. 

Still, I never thought I'd miss my grandfather's funeral. Nor did I think he'd ever be alone in a hospital room, no visitors allowed due to Covid-19 restrictions. I never thought I'd be coaching my parents through donning and doffing PPE to safely say goodbye. I never thought I wouldn't get a proper chance to say goodbye, for that matter.

 hanging out at our favorite place in Florida

But there you have it. I've adopted an 'it is what it is' mentality to soften the blow, but it does suck all the same. I take some small solace in knowing that at thirty-something weeks pregnant, there's probably little chance I'd be able to get home to say goodbye anyways, in the counterfactual world where the pandemic doesn't exist. 

Nevertheless, I didn't write this post to score internet pity points. Because my grandfather had many years of declining health, I didn't really know him as well as I thought I did. As it turns out, the real beauty of these last few weeks has been in the quiet unfolding of little stories and anecdotes I never knew, and great accomplishments I'd never heard about, partly due to his inability to communicate for some time, but also because of his humility. He was not the type to brag. I didn't know he started his career caring for Indigenous People through the Indian Health Services. I learned in my classes at Harvard about his involvement in a men's health study that is still referenced and talked about in academic circles, all these years later. I didn't know that he attended Juilliard before pursuing degrees in medicine, public health and nutrition.

And that's just the professional CV. From our time together I knew how much he loved his wife, his children, his grandkids (all 19 of us), and his faith. And how much he loved dessert and coffee (I'll forever think of him and smile when I see halvah at the local Lebanese shop.) How he cared for his father-in-law for years after my grandmother died, as if he were his own parent. 

Anyways, there's no need for me to re-hash his beautiful life here, so I'll stop. That's what obituaries are for, right? I'll leave you with a few lesson he taught me in the time we shared together. I hope you find them useful, interesting, or at least a brief distraction from this crazy world we're living in. 

Work hard and humbly. As I alluded to above, my grandfather accomplished a lot in his professional life. He conducted the orchestra at Stuyvesant high school before attending Juilliard and going on to obtain 3 health-related degrees and working internationally in nutrition and health. But those just weren't things you'd hear about if you sat down for a talk with him. At least when I knew him, he preferred to talk about his childhood on the Upper West Side, where he was in a gang known as the '103rd street sharks,' and even more keen to tell stories about my grandmother. In a world obsessed with the hustle, winning, and outward displays of success and wealth, I think he sets a great example of a a more beautiful, quiet and better way to live. 

Have faith. My grandfather's faith ran extremely deep. He met my grandmother at a bible study in New York, and when he couldn't remember who his own kids were, he remembered every word and hymn in the Orthodox liturgy. Even after losing his wife too soon to cancer, his sadness had a hope about it because he knew he'd see her again one day. I can't be sure, but I think it also really drove him in his work, as his career focused public health and service, and on using his skills and knowledge to help others. As a Christian in medicine, I've found myself thinking a lot about his ability to balance the use of his skills to help as best as he could and surrendering the final outcome to God. Faith and science aren't always complementary, but when I think of him as a scientist and Christian, how he had faith in God and faith in evidence-based medicine, I realize you can have and practice both in life. 

Find joy in the small things. For such an accomplished guy, the grandfather I knew was also quite a lovely, silly person. I can't tell you how many photographs and home videos we have of him delightedly bouncing a baby in his lap, striking a silly pose, whole-heartedly immersing himself in a classical performance (he conducted many a Youtube video concert in his later years!) or sneaking food from the table to the family dog. He even greeted us on entry with a self-composed 'grand entrance' tune, every time he visited, without fail. I'll never forget what a joy he was to be around :) 

Broaden your horizons. Through his jobs in the Coast Guard, consulting and volunteering with the the Orthodox Christian Mission Center, my grandfather spent a good amount of time traveling the world. When I was five, he took me and two cousins out of the country for the first time. I actually remember hating the trip- a typical American kid, I didn't like the taste of Greek food (I know how insane this sounds now), I missed my parents, and half of us ended up with a stomach bug. It took a few more years, along with some tales and souvenirs he brought back from Japan, Russia, and Kenya, but I eventually came around. I used to describe his home as a museum, full of fascinating tchotchkes from places I couldn't pronounce the name of. I'll forever be thankful I picked up his travel bug gene. 

blurry photo of the two of them together, probably New York

Love never fails. We lost my grandmother way too soon, before I was old enough to remember much about her. But I feel like I knew her all the same, through the stories my grandfather told so sweetly and tenderly, over and over again. He was amused and amazed by everything she did- from calming down an angry mentally ill patient as a young nurse in Manhattan, to trying a cigarette on an airplane once, even the most mundane moments with her were like magic to him. From a young age I remember confiding with the other girls in the family how we all aspired to find a love like they had, to find someone who talked about us the way my grandfather talked about our Yiayia Emmy. If only we were so lucky, we'd say. 

Well that was therapeutic. Hope you found it interesting, or at least a brief diversion; either way thanks for indulging me. Stay safe and well.